Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I love you more than Rainbows

On Sunday I found this book and started reading to Allyson. I love you more than rainbows.... As I read the book I couldn't help but hold her a little tighter. I love you more than rainbows. I know she doesn't fully understand but that doesn't change how I feel. I love each of my babies more than anything in the entire world. I hope they know and feel it. I love you is a very common thing to hear in our home. But that book keeps going over and over through my head. Do my kids really know how much I love them? Is there someone I am forgetting? I know having parents live separate lives is hard on them but am I showing them everyday that I love them so much that we couldn't stay in that hostile environment? So many question now going though my head and make me question how good of a Mom I am being. And a step further.... does my Father know I love him. I think I has been way too long since I last showed my appreciation to my Dad. He is so important to me words can not describe. I know I have done things that disappointed him, but he has never turned away. My Dad has always been there for me, even when I've been too ashamed to ask. I know I should have listened to him a LOT more than I ever did. My Dad has never said, You disappoint me, he's never said, WOW you really screwed up this time or you deserve this..... He also never said I'd have to raise my family alone. All I have ever know from my Dad is support. The one thing I have always needed the most. I know I have a dysfunctional family but there are still a few winners in my book and I love them more than RAINBOWS!!!!

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